By Austin F -- revised 3-12-07


One day Davy Crockette went hunting in the woods. He killed a bear with a long rifle. While he was hunting, he saw the earth and the sun got all icey and frozen up. Davy said I have to do something and he ran home and got his pipe and lit it.Then he ran to the sun. Then he pried ice blocks off the sun and he slid down a sun ray and he put some of the sun in his pocket. He put the the sun in his pocket to have good memories.
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By Austin F -- One day Davy Crockette went hunting and got a bear. He saw the earth and the sun got all icey and frozen up. Davy said I have to do something and he got his pipe. Then he pried ice blocks off the sun and he slid down a sun ray and he put some of the sun in his pocket.
COMMENTS?

This is good for a start! that is alot better but if he was on earth how did he see earth
What is the settings?
What pipe?
Thats good stuff to have in
story but add more details(:
What did he do with the bear?
What was he like?
What day was is?
I heard that he hit the SUN with a pipe what pipe? all right lets try to make your story longer than it is like 4 paragraphs a paragraph is 4 sentensess (:
I wonder what did he do with the bear?
I should be a good two paragraphs at lest not to be mean (:
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dear Austin F, I heard that davy crocked puted a pice of sun in his pocket to have good memories.
I liked when he saw earth and the sun frozen up.
I wondered about
why is the king fishing in the ground?
I have a question about why are people underground?
your friend,
andrew