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Mystery Letters on the wall of BAT WING HALL


Mystery Letters on the wall of BAT WING HALL
Final Draft 3-25-08
It was a hot summer morning in Hannibal, Missouri on June 2, 2007,the time was 9:30 in the morning. Two kids, Kristine and James were watching Spongebob squarepants on tv but it was so boring that Kristine said "Hey lets go to BAT WING HALL. Bat Wing Hall was a BIG CAVE in New London. The cave had a lot of bats in it, that is how it got it's name. James said "The problem is we have to walk and it is kind of far." Kristine said "We do not have to walk my mom will take us, I will call her right now." So she got the phone and called her mom from work. Kristine said "Mom we need a ride to Bat Wing Hall because we are both bored.” Her mom said "Okay, I will be there in like 10 minutes."10 minutes later her mom pulled up in her van and honked.

Kristine and James went outside and got in the car. Kristine's mom said it will take 5 minutes to get there so sit back and enjoy the ride." After her mom said that James told Kristine "I think this is a bad idea." Kristine said "I think we will both have fun." After she said that she said "We are almost there." Then Kristine's mom said "We are at Bat Wing Hall." Kristine and James got out of the car and said "We will call you when we are done going through the cave." Bat Wing Hall. They walked in the cave it was dark and cold so Kristine saw flashlights hanging on the wall. They turned on the flashlights and they saw letters on the wall that said "If you come any closer bats will grab you and take you to the wall and you will go on the other side and you will be trapped." After they read the wall they took two big steps, bats came and dropped them by the wall. Everything was silent.

Then all of a sudden the wall turned and they were trapped. They still had the flashlights so they turned them on and they saw more letters on the wall that said "If you come any closer to this wall
You will be saved.” They both got out of the cave. Kristine called her mom and said" Mom we need a ride because we are done and the cave is too scary .Bye!" So fifteen minutes later her mom came and picked them up. They got in the car and said "We will never go to that cave again. But after they left two more kids went in and got trapped just like James and Kristine did.





First Draft - It was a hot summer morning in Hannibal,Missouri on June 2, 2007,the time was 9:30 in the morning. Two kids,Kristine and James were watching Spongebob squarepants on tv but it was so boring that Kristine said "Hey lets go to BAT WING HALL. Bat Wing Hall was a big cave in New London. The cave had a lot of bats in it, that is how it got it's name. James said "The problem is we halve to walk and it is kind of far." Kristine said "We do not halve to walk my mom will take us, I will call her right now."So she got the phone and called her mom from work. Kristine said "Mom we need a ride to Bat Wing Hall because we are both board."Her mom said "Okay, I will be there in like 10 minutes."10 minutes later her mom pulled up and honked.

Kristine and James went outside and got in the car. Kristine's mom said it will take 5 minutes to get there so sit back and in joy the ride."After her mom said that James told Kristine "I think this is a bad idea."Kristine said "I think we will both have fun."After she said that she said "We are almost there."Then Kristine's mom said "We are at Hall."Kristine and James got out of the car and said "We will call you when we are done going through the cave."Wing Bat Hall. They walked in the cave it was dark and cold so Kristine saw flashlights hanging on the wall. They turned on the flashlights and they saw letters on the wall that said "If you come any closer bats will grab you and take you to the wall and you will go on the other side and you will be trapped."After they read the wall they took two big steps, bats came and dropped them by the wall.Everything was silent.

Then all of a sudden the wall turned and they were trapped.They still had the flashlights so they turned them on and they saw more letters on the wall that said "If you read this wall it will help you get out."They both read it and bats came and opened the wall and they got out. They both got out of the cave. Kristine called her mom and said"Mom we need a ride because we are done and the cave is too scary.bye!"So fifteen minutes later her mom came and picked them up. They got in the car and said "We will never go to that cave again.But after they left two more kids went in and got trapped just like James and Kristine did.

This is Blake It was a great story but I think you need change the bit in the second paragraph you did wing bat hall instead of Bat Wing Hall.
This is Mitchell I like the way you started the story you showed the time date weather year and the place.
This is Blake My favourite paragraph was the second one. I liked the bit in the cave.