Dee

Dee

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**The Worst Christmas in** **Hannibal** –(Final) by Dee
==== Once there were three kids named Jacky, Lacey, and Bobby. Jacky, Lacey, and Bobby had a snow ball fight in Hannibal at Huckleberry park. It was a dark and cold night. As the kids threw snow balls at each other, the snow was doing funny thing it was forming a monster. The monster named Snow beast. He lives in a big hole in the woods. He was as tall as a mini van. He was as white as snow and his nick name was Abominable snowman. He had snow every where in his house. He had a brother named Fire beast. Snow beast is very Evil.====

==== "The Snow beast took Jacky" Lacey said. "I see big foot prints,"said Bobby. Lacey ask "Should we follow them" "Yes" said Bobby. They looked every where. Then Lacey fell in a the snow beast, she fell on top of a net. The snow beast tied her up and put her in a old and rusty cage with rats. Jacky was in the cage too. Bobby ran and ran until he saw another dark hole and he poked his head in. He saw a fire red figure lying on the floor. Bobby fell in. Fire beast ran toward him and Bobby started to scream. But he was only trying to help Bobby up. Bobby asked him two questions to ask Fire beast. "Are you Snow beast's brother" ====

==== "Let's play" They climbed out of the hole but Bobby was slipping. Bobby graded a chair and hopped on and pulled a piece of strong grass. When he got out he started yell out "I AM FREE" Fire beast was already there at Snow beast 's house. He ran and tripped on a rock his face was freezing cold. ====

==== As Bobby wiped the snow off his face, Snow beast saw Bobby. He ran away like a little baby and screaming"MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY" Fire beast saw his brother they set down under a tree to talk. While Lacey and Jacky ran after Bobby although he was still screaming,"MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY" So they had no problem finding him. Fire and Snow beast were playing tag when Jacky, Lacey, Bobby got back. The next day spring came and Snow beast was gone. ====


 * First draft --** Once there were three kids named Jacky,Lacey,and Bobby. Jacky,Lacey, and Bobby had a snow ball fight in Hannibal at Huckulberry park. As the kids threw snow balls at each other, the snow was doing funny thing it was forming a monster. The monster named Snow beast.He lives in a big hole in the woods. He was as tall as a mini van. He was as white as snow and his nick name was Abominable snowman. He had snow every where in his house. He had a brother named Fire beast. Snow beast is very Evil.

"The Snow beast took Jacky" Lacey said. "I see foot prints"said Bobby. Lacey ask "Should we follow them" "Yes" said Bobby. They looked every where. Then Lacey fell in a the snow beast, she fell on top of a net. The snow beast tied her up and put her in a old and rusty cage with rats. Jacky was in the cage too.Bobby ran and ran until he saw another hole and he poked his head in. He saw a fire red figure lying on the floor. Bobby fell in. Fire beast ran tord him and Bobby started to scream. But he was only trying to help Bobby up. Bobby asked him two questions to ask Fire beast. "Are you Snow beast's brother" Fire beast replied " yes I am" "Can you help my brother and sister"Bobby said "Are they at my brother's" Fire beast said "Yes" Fire beast said

"Let's play" They climbed out of the hole but Bobby was slipping. Bobby graded a chair and hopped on and pulled a piece of strong grass. When he got out he started yell out "I AM FREE" Fire beast was already there at Snow beast 's house. He ran and tripped on a rock his face was freezing cold.

As Bobby wiped the snow off his face, Snow beast saw Bobby. Bobby ran away like a little baby and screaming"MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY" Fire beast saw his brother they set down under a tree to talk.while Lacey and Jacky ran after Bobby although he was still screaming"MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY" So they had no problem finding him. Fire and Snow beast were playing tag when Jacky, Lacey, Bobby got back. The next day spring came and Snow beast was gone.

Hi Dee I am Ben I have a comment for you good story but you need more adjtives like when you said Bobby,Jacky and Lacey where playing in the snow.

Hi Dee I am your buddy Isaac.I read your story it was great exsept the part were you said:As Bobby wiped the snow of his face, Snow beast Bobby.Bobby ran away.You should try not use to so many names