Shayna

Shayna

SHAYNA final draft 3/26/08
 * The Scary Night on Halloween**

One night in Hannibal, Missouri there were two kids named Jack and Annie. It was October 31 on Halloween night. Jack and Annie were getting ready for Halloween to go out trick or treating. They were not ready so Jack changed his pajamas to his Halloween costumes. And also he put on his shirt, pants, and his creepy mask the mask was gray with horns coming out of the top of it, has small black eyes. Then he tied on his long black cape. Next he put on his sneakers. Annie slipped on her long white dress painted like blood, next she put on her red make up, then she threw on her long black wig. Then she put on her black shoes.

Next they went out side and they walked next door where the lights never go on. Next they walked on the really smooth side walk to the really big old navy blue house, it only has two windows, it also has two broken railings The really old rusty door has hinges loose and when you open the door it squeaks really loud. Then they went to Merry Ann’s big house she gave them a loud of candy. Then they went home they put their candy on the table and went up stairs to get undressed. When they came back down half of their candy was gone. So they went back up stairs and they looked under their bed to see if they can find any candy, but, they did not find anything. So they went back down stairs and some more candy was gone. And there was only one piece of candy left so they looked in their closet and something popped out of the closet and it was their friend Michel.

First draft - One night in Hannibal, Missouri there were two kids named jack and Annie. It was October 31 on Halloween night. Jack and Annie were getting ready for Halloween to go out trick or treating they were not ready jack changed his pajamas to his Halloween costum he put on his shirt, pants, and his scary mask the mask was gray it had hornes coming out the top of it, has small black eyes.Then he tied on his long black cape.Next he put on his sneakers. Annie slipped on her long white dress painted like blood, next she put on her red make up, Then she threw on her long black wig.Then she put on her black shoes.Next they went out side and they walked next door were the lights never go on.Next they walked on the really smooth side walk to the really big old navy blue house, it only has too windows, it also has too broken rale, the really old rusty door has hinges loose and when you open the door it sqeeks really loud. then they went to merry anns house she gave them a loud of candy.Then they went home they put there candy on the table and went up stairs to get undressed.When they came back down half of their candy was gone.So they went back up stairs they looked under there bed to see if they can find any evadence but they did not find anything. So they went back down stairs and some more candy was gone.And there was only one peice of candy left so they looked in there closet and something poped out of the closet and it was there firend micale

Hi Shayna it is Sumati. I know have not finished the story but I read it so far and it made me want to read more. I liked it because it has a lot of detail and very spooky, I love spooky storys but I think you need to check your spelling because I saw a few spelling errors. I really liked it so far.